Guts, Grace & Gusto

Our Guts, Grace & Gusto messages focus on ways to sustain stressed out spirits, especially during times when life’s dances may be out of step of what you expected. The holidays with their prolific ads coupled with your own expectations to celebrate, decorate, shop, bake, wrap, give abundantly and make memories in grand fashion can be overwhelming. I’m learning to let go of doing things in the same style, and that’s not easy for one who always relished creating holiday magic.

In the past, I loved decorating the house with lights galore and garlands suspended over doors, wrapped around banisters and twirled around lamp posts. I’d spend days in search of the perfect gifts. Wrapping glittery packages was an art form. Cookie tins were packed with a colorful array of homemade cookies, and our holiday cards sent with glee, proudly detailing our family’s adventures.

Not this year. Our family has been grappling with the ever-shifting journey of my husband’s deteriorating health from a neurodegenerative disorder, who is now permanently institutionalized. After creating 30 years of holiday memories, this year is decidedly different. There is no guilt, just grief.

While decorating the Christmas tree more melancholy rather than magic filled my heart. I decorated it alone and wondered about the millions of others whose lives have dramatically shifted this year. I dug down into the ornament box and pulled out the green sequined ornament emblazoned with “HOPE.” I bought that the first Christmas after Rick got sick as a reminder that hope always exists no matter what we’re experiencing, and to grab on to it with all the gusto you can muster. Hope reminds us of life’s infinite possibilities and the miracles that do manifest. Hope gets us through times that shake up our world, realizing that the situation will change, too, in whatever is meant to be.

I’ve kept the memories from all those years, but let the fantasy go of keeping up all the holiday trimmings and traditions. Today, my daughter comes home from Virginia Tech for winter break. There aren’t any cookies baked, I have one pathetic snowflake strand of lights outside, no garlands over doorways this year, so unlike the magical Christmases I created in the past, but the house will be filled with laughter, love and making new memories with traditions more simplified. I’m not even sure what we’re having for dinner tonight and that’s a major shift, since she loves Mom’s cooking. We’re indeed living in the moment!

The happy ending envisioned in our book turned out much differently than expected, and as the last paragraph in my story ‘Dancing through the Darkness’ states:

”Ultimately, I learned to dance through the darkness, knowing at some unknown point in time, that dance would be over. In its place would be another one, with another rhythm, a different beat, and new steps to learn.”

This season, the steps I’m intent in modeling for my daughters is resilience, creating joy and expressing love no matter your circumstance. We’re hosting a holiday party to be surrounded by loving hearts in our very supportive circle. These are the gifts of spirit that will serve us all whatever happens along the way. I’m learning new steps and the beat goes on. I’m winding my way through a new landscape of living, maneuvering through the changes with as much guts, grace and gusto as I can muster. I’m letting things be. That’s perfection—making it good enough without the guilt.

This journey has changed me profoundly. I've become a much greater risk-taker and realize the importance of creating joy, of laughing more, of not taking myself seriously, doing things out of self-imposed expectations, and even more so, to extend as much appreciation and love to others in whatever slices of time are carved out. Letting people know when they've touched my heart is a bold way of living and to me, the only way.

So many are dealing with so much. At a holiday dance party on Sunday evening , I reconnected with a woman who’s been dealing with her parents’ eldercare issues for 5 years. My heart goes to her and all she has to do to keep her spirits up. But there she was--dressed in a Santa hat with another for her mom as she rolled her mom in a seated walker to enjoy the music around the piano. The daughter won an award for “most improved dancer”, perhaps driven with a desire to feel free from all the responsibility.

If you’re already in transition, or perhaps the winds of change are lifting you into a new phase, the holidays can hit especially hard when life is transmuting into something different. You’ve got to dig down deep into your heart and know what’s yours to do, as well as what’s not. That takes guts. The holidays are a time to sort out what you really need to do from what would be nice to do if you had the time, energy and other resources to do it.

It takes guts to say “no” to the old and “yes” to a new way of simplifying and rearranging holiday hustle-bustle. Doing so can save your sanity as well as your energy to focus on more pressing priorities that rear their heads at life’s cross sections.

Sandra Strauss

Labels: giving up guilt, Holiday stress, letting go of expectations, simplifying the holidays, transitions

“Oh Tannenbaum, Oh, Tannenbaum . . . .how mold-Infested are your branches!

Reader note: Our blog will regularly feature research and news stories regarding health issues. I invite readers to email me interesting stories relative to health matters, especially in reference to environmental links affecting wellness.

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Allergy sufferers beware during this season of rockin’ around the Christmas tree—the mold that thrives on live pines may trigger allergic symptoms for weeks of suffering, according to research presented recently during the annual meeting of American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology.

Mold reproduces by releasing spores into the air. "Christmas trees are another possible source of mold exposure during the holiday season," says researcher, Philip Hemmers, an allergist and immunologist with St. Vincent's Medical Center in Bridgeport, Conn.

Once the live pine was brought inside the house and decorated, the mold spore counts were taken 12 times over a two-week period. Researchers found they were five times above normal at the end of two weeks, and these high levels have been correlated with allergic rhinitis and an increased rate of asthma symptoms and asthma-related hospitalization in other studies," said Hemmers. "So if you don't feel well during the holidays, consider the Christmas tree as a possible source of allergies." Their research was limited to just one tree so further investigation is obviously needed.

With these findings, those with mold sensitivity may consider keeping a live Christmas tree in the house for a week or less or switch to an artificial tree. However, Hermmers cautioned if these are stored in the attic or basement where they can collect dust and mold, these can also be problematic.

Christmas ornaments and lights can also be contaminated with dust or mold. "Store Christmas decorations in plastic containers that you can wipe off, since cardboard can potentially have mold,” recommends Dr. James Sublett, section chief of Pediatric Allergy at the University of Louisville’s School of Medicine in Kentucky. "Also wear a N95 dust mask when bringing stuff out of storage." It’s not being overly cautious, it’s protecting yourself from these environmental hazards.

Beyond its ability to ramp up allergies, mold triggers a multitude of other symptoms and can lead to a chronic, fatiguing illness for those genetically susceptible. The Center for Research on Biotoxin Associated Illness has shown how mold, along with other biotoxic agents are putting people of all ages at risk.

So, deck the halls, but do so with caution. Environmental toxins are real and everywhere today. Toxins are indeed swirling in our air, our food, our water and our exposure is constant. More about mold and other toxins impacting our health today in future posts. S.S.

Labels: allergies, mold, Toxins