After my dear friend and colleague got hit with breast cancer in her early 40’s, Paige urged me to investigate long-term care insurance. Her window for coverage had closed and she was unable to get it. As a Sandwich Generation Boomer, dealing with my mother’s finances and care, I had both insights and motivation to plan for the unexpected or perhaps the inevitable. I certainly didn’t want our daughters to be responsible for our care. I scheduled a meeting with Paige’s agent.
As my husband, then in his mid-fifties, and I reviewed policy terms and options, I thought it would be decades before one of us would have to rummage through the insurance file to initiate a claim. I couldn’t even imagine ever really needing it since we were both very active and healthy. It’s hard to know just what your needs will be when making financial decisions. Now I know it was one of the best investments we ever made and I am forever grateful to Paige.
Two years after purchasing our policies, the unexpected slammed us smack dab in the middle of a perfectly happy life. I awoke one morning in March 2004 to find Rick slumped over his computer and acting very strange, the first sign that something was terribly wrong.
He admitted he hadn’t been able to focus or concentrate for some time. He was shaking and I also discovered a bloody rash all over his back. The man I had known for three decades disappeared, as if his life force had been sucked right out of him.
Day after day, Rick suffered multiple symptoms and pain and we never knew what to expect or how long he would suffer without relief. His constantly changing symptoms varied in intensity and duration: crushing headaches, gripping stomach pain, joint pain, lightning bolt sensations, seizures, shortness of breath, wheezing, red eyes, light sensitivity, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, and nerve pain that he likened to being on fire, without the mercy of death. He was cognitively impaired and had difficulty walking, and sometimes collapsed. Doctors were unable to make a conclusive diagnosis until a year later.
However, in the midst of the uncertainty, Rick’s care issues needed to be addressed. I explored adult daycare as a first step. I pulled out the policy and called the carrier to initiate the claim. It all seemed so surreal. Dropping him off each morning, he joined the elder league of those a generation older than himself. Shockwaves pierced through my heart. How devastating a scene for a man in mid-life and at the peak of his game—one which I never would have anticipated at this stage.
Ironically, Rick had been a vocational rehabilitation consultant, helping clients put back their lives after suffering a disability. “Temporarily- abled” Rick used to say, for all of us who never expect a disability or disease to dramatically change our lives. We can’t imagine our worlds collapsing into such foreign territory. But the world you thought would never disappear can. Suddenly, you’re dealing with many changes simultaneously—physical, emotional, financial, relationships and roles transform, care issues surface, and others that escalate and take a toll on your well-being.
Later, when Rick required around-the-clock supervisory care, I was grateful that we had taken a slice of time just a few years earlier to investigate long-term care insurance. Rick was permanently disabled, unable to work, and the cost of care would have been financially devastating as well as emotionally draining for our family. Fortunately, with his care needs expertly addressed, I could begin to redirect my energies for professional pursuits and handling all the details that were now my sole responsibility.
The happy ending of my story included in the book I coauthored and released last November, Dancing through Life with Guts, Grace & Gusto, turned out much differently than expected. His cognitive impairment requires him to permanently reside in a facility.
Without that long-term care policy, the blows from the unexpected would have been much more devastating. So, if you’ve wondered whether to purchase long-term care insurance, it is peace- of-mind living in a world of uncertainty. That is priceless.
Sandra Strauss
posted by Sandy at 7:28 AM